Saturday Night
by Da Jesus
Summary: The boys of Evangelion have a Saturday night out! Review or I'll hunt you down


Saturday Night

**Saturday Night - A Neon Genesis Evangelion Humor Fic By Perfect Productions (Formerly Not Illegal In The Least Productions)**

**Da_Jesus**

**

"Hey Shinji, where are you going?" Asked Misato, seeing Shinji departing the apartment. 

"Err...I-I'm going out with Touji and Kensuke." He replied nervously. 

"Oh okay then. Be back by monday." 

"I'll try. Bye!" 

With a wave, Shinji left the apartment. 

** 

"Hey Touji. You got the beer?" Demanded Shinji.

"Ooooooh yeah. 3 cases of it." 

"What brand?" Asked Kensuke. 

"Yebisu light. That means only _slightly_ more than 50% alcohol." Shinji glared at Touji angrily. 

"Ahh jeez. You ALWAYS have to get the 'light' kind, don't you!!"

"Allright, allright, allright!" Shouted Kensuke. 

"Break it up! Shinji, you got Misato's car keys?" 

"Ooooooh yeah. Even got her ID."

"Allright, lets burn some rubber!" 

"Yeah, lets get drunk and drive Misato's car!" 

** 

"Hey, does anyone here have a drivers' license?" Asked Shinji as they climbed into Misato's car. 

"Yeah!" Replied Touji. 

"Nope." Said Kensuke. 

"All right then, Kensuke, you're driving."

** 

"YEEEEEE-HAAAAHHHH!!!! TAKE _THAT_,80 MILES PER HOUR SPEED LIMIT SIGN!" Screamed Kensuke. 

"Hey, Kensuke, you're only going 40 miles over the speed limit. What's wrong?" 

"WE'RE HEADING FOR THE SCHOOL, BOYS! BREAK OUT THE CROWBARS!" 

Suddenly, two red and blue flashing lights appear behind them. 

"Awww crap! Da pigs are on to us!"

"Relax. I got an ID, remember." 

"Oooooh yeah." 

The policeman exits his vehicle and walked over to them. Shinji holds up the ID. 

"Allright, Miss Misato Katsuragi. I...hey...did you get a haircut, cause ya look different in the picture. Hey, waitaminute, your just a bunch of punkass kids! I'm taking you IN!!" 

"Would you like five pounds of frozen shrimp...to forget about this?" 

"That shrimp isn't frozen. And it smells funny. And I'm an honest policeman." 

"Okay, ten pounds." 

"WAAAAHOOOOO! I SCORE TODAY, NO MORE CAT LITTER FOR ME TONIGHT!" 

** 

(IN THE SCHOOL) 

"All right! I'll show those Mexican Fire Ants!"

"Your ass'll hurt." 

"Oooooh yeah." 

"I told you not to stick your butt in the cage." 

"HEY! I SAY WE BURN DOWN THE ART ROOM!!" 

"I'm waaaaaaaay ahead of ya', Shinji." 

** 

"All right...I think thats enough. Lets get outta here and start stealing!" 

** 

After a few more beers, they all blacked out, except for Touji. 

"Orright! I Scored a VCR! Heeey, that car loks pretty easy to drive. I wonder what would happen if I just...borrowed it." 

"Hey, kid! WHat the hell are you doing!" Screamed a policeman. 

"I-I didn't do nuthin, man! I'm innocent! This is bullshit! This VCR was a present! He gave it to me!" 

"Sorry son, but you're not gettin' outta this one. You're going IN!" 

** 

Somehow, in the duration of the night, Kensuke found himself in a whorehouse/nightclub dancing naked with bull tied to his penis, as he wowed the crowd on the bar. 

Shinji, however, made it home. But for some weird reason, the next morning when he woke up, he was dressed in ladies' underwear. 

As he quickly dressed in his own clothes, and made his way to the living room, he saw a news report on that quickly grabbed his attention. 

"A group of punkass kids trashed a city high school and much of the surrounding area last night while the city slept. We have one of the perpetrators here!" 

"Touji, do you have anything to say for yourself?" 

"Yeah. I'd never do something like that in my whole life. I don't rememeber a THING about this...Those punkass kids are real rats." 

"Uhhh...Touji...you WERE on of those punkass kids." 

"Ahhh shit. I just made an ass of myself, didn't I?" 

"Well, thats weird. I'm going to work." Said Misato, turning off the tv and walking out to the car park. 

Two minutes later, a scream could be heard all the way from the underground car park. 

"HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF CRAP! LOOK WHAT THOSE PUNKASS KIDS DID TO MY CAR!!" 

**BY DA_JESUS - **[][1]**Da_Jesus@start.com.au**

**blah blah Gainax owns Eva etc**

   [1]: mailto:Da_Jesus@start.com.au



End file.
